Weightlifting commentator at the Olympic Snatch and Jerk event: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing".
Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother".
Grand prix race announcer: "The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical to the one in front of the similar one in back".
Greg Norman, Pro Golfer: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father".
Ringside boxing analyst: "Sure there have been injuries and even some deaths in boxing - but none of them really that serious".
Baseball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again".
Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."
At a trophy ceremony - BBC TV Boat Race 1988: "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the Cambridge president is hugging the cox of the Oxford crew."
Metro Radio, College Football: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."
US Open TV Commentator: "One of the reasons Arnold Palmer is playing so well is that, before each final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them....Oh my God, what have I just said."
MICHAEL Buerk watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's eclipse coverage remarked: "They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts."
Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."
MIKE Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: "Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."
JACK Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards' tyre choice on World Superbike racing: "Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he wished he had a hard on now."
Chris Tarrant discussing the first Millionaire winner Judith Keppel on This Morning: "She was practising fastest finger first by herself in bed last night."
WINNING Post's Stewart Machin commentating on jockey Tony McCoy's formidable lead: "Tony has a quick look between his legs and likes what he sees."
ROSS King discussing relays with champion runner Phil Redmond: "Well Phil, tell us about your amazing third leg."
CRICKETER Neil Fairbrother hit a single during a Durham Lancashire match, inspiring Bobby Simpson to observe: "With his lovely soft hands he just tossed it off.
CLAIR Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: "There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this."
JAMES Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked: "What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Barrichello?"
STEVE Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69."
THE new stand at Doncaster race course took Brough Scott's breath away..."My word," he said. "Look at that magnificent erection."
WILLIE Carson was telling Claire Balding how jockeys prepare for a big race when he said: "They usually have four or five dreams a night about coming from different positions."
CARENZA Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on Time Team Live said: "You'd eat beaver if you could get it."
A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!
New Zealand Rugby Commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him."
